I think therefore I am.....

...and what I am is alone. I miss the feeling of being in a relationship, but at the same time I'm honestly afraid to even remotely try a new one. I have a fear of becoming nothing more than a stepping stone in someones life till they find who they are truly supposed to be with....at least thats been the pattern so far in my life. Not to say those loves from the past were anything less than amazing, it just always turned out that I was never "life long" or I found some way to screw it up.

Is it weird that I am absolutely happy with myself until I consider if I'm good enough for a girl?

Once a relationship comes into play, I instantly feel like I don't have a chance in hell. I get this constant feeling like I'm not attractive enough, or interesting enough.

This is really starting to become a problem, but I have no clue what Im supposed to do to fix it. All relationships Ive had in the past happened out of sheer luck, or I was just what was left over or the second option. I have no idea how to ask someone out. I have no idea if a date is going well.

...I have no idea if a girl is into me or if they are just trying to not hurt my ego.

Simply put, I want a girl. A girl that gets me, that wont freak out on me all the time, that wont abandon me when I need them. Someone I can love 24/7, yet still keep my own independence, and allow them theirs. I want something that I've had before...I want perfection.

my dad told me "Never settle for what you can live with, settle for what you cant live without."

Up until now I've lived my life by that. But now I'm starting to wonder if thats the best option for me at this point in my life....Should I settle? Lower my standards? Or keep searching for that perfect relationship? Because my fear is that Ill be waiting forever in a vast void of false hopes, a broken heart, and a fragile spirit...